Zombie Wins the World Cup
Posted on Tuesday July 13 2010
by Vlad Peters, senior editor, Undeadware Gazette
Though Spain may have declared it's victory in the 1-0 match against the Netherlands
on Sunday, the winning goal, as it turns out, was actually made by one Boris Ivanovich
of Montenegro.
Boris also was dead at the time.
What Andres Iniesta thought was a new regulation football, was actually the un-living
and snapping, decapitated head of Mr Boris Ivanovich. Before Iniesta could react,
he had already fired off the winning goal.
Boris, an avid football fan from Monenegro, had come to South Africa to watch the
entire World Cup and realize a life long dream. After the first week, however,
Boris stopped calling home, missing his dutiful calls to his family every evening at
18:00.
"We feared the worst, "said Mrs. Katarina Ivanovich, Boris' wife of 10 years.
"Boris is alway so careful to call home when he is away. I believe now it makes sense."
FIFA officials believe that Boris may have begun his un-life during the first big string
of official and un-official parties associated with the games.
"It's not an unusual story, "observed retired FIFA referee, Mr. Gareth Johann."
"The parties surrounding the Event are often not without their dangers, be they, drugs,
murder, or zombies."
What was unusual was Boris' head being substituted for a football. Officials are baffled
as to how the groaning head could have come into play or even gotten onto the field.
Spain can breathe a sigh of relief though, as FIFA will uphold the winning goal, zombie head
notwithstanding.
UPDATE: The winning head has gone missing. FIFA is offering a substantial reward for its return.
Oil spill disturbs frozen zombie
Posted on Sunday July 11 2010
By Vlad Peters, Senior Editor, Undeadware Gazette
Oil and tar is not the only fallout from the gushing Gulf oil rig spill. One of the oldest recorded zombies has washed up on the beach of the Florida Gulf Coast. While the sight of a few waterlogged zombies rotting on the emerald shores of towns such as Destin, Florida is not completely unusual for early summer, long time residents have recently been shocked to find a conquistador among the regular drowned tourists and scuba divers.
"We were out clearing up the usual boating accident victims from the weekend, "explained Rick Garner, park ranger at Henderson Beach State Park,"when we came across a torso in what looked like Spanish armor, trying to crawl its way back to the water." Ranger Rick went on to explain how he took pictures of the thing with his phone and sent them to his friend Professor Dean Faraday, head of the Necrology Department at the University of Florida.
"The armor seems to be from the 17th Century," confirmed Professor Faraday. "Our current theory is that perhaps the zombie had been dumped overboard centuries ago and had been preserved in the extreme cold of the deep water. "
" We think that maybe that the creature was crawling over the site of the oil leak explosion and was actually propelled to the surface. It was also then filled with the gasses being released, giving it new buoyancy, and allowing it to float to where it was found."
When asked if residents could expect another conquistador invasion, Faraday laughed.
"We think this might be a one in a billion occurrence... assuming he was alone down there... and there are no more explosions..."
New Blog System
Posted on Thursday July 08 2010
Hello Everyone,
We are pleased to announce that our new blog system is up and running. From time to time you can find News about Undeadware, various current events our staff writes about, and updates about upcoming Zombie events
Keep an eye on our site, we will be adding lots of content soon.
Thanks everyone for their support!
~Team Undeadware